elb's hovel of thoughts

Thursday, August 26, 2004


Somehow I could not sleep yesterday night. Something inside me was pulling at me, and I booted Aurium (my laptop) to read a letter of support that was written to me sometime last week by a person whom inspires me spiritually. What I read in there is a very timely reminder for me.

God has always been there for me. I owe Him so much, that He can offer an insignifant speck of dust such as me His love. Its truly mind blowing. After all, he doesn't have to. He's God. Yet he did, helping me countless times throughout my life despite the fact that I sin so much everyday. It were troubles that drew me to Him a few years ago when I gave my life to Him; yet ironically, troubles also drew me away as I fooled myself with discontentment. One should never expect a trouble-free walk with God; the devil will try its best to upset everything. It is when our lives are free of problems that we should worry. It means that you're so far out from God's path that the devil doesn't see you as a threat anymore. What I need is to get closer to God instead of pushing Him away.

He's always been there for me; it was me who backed away, blaming God when I shouldn't, treating Him more as a punching bag and yet still having the guts to ask Him for help at the same time. I know deep down that I cannot live without God, but shamefully my thoughts have gone astray. Jesus can do the same for you too and help change your life for the better, if you let Him.

Its time to change. Time to stop slacking. So at around 2am yesterday, I made the decision to recommit myself to Him. May this be the start of the journey of a life time!


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