elb's hovel of thoughts

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Overhaul

As I peered into the mirror the other day, I noticed that my hair has thinned. At first I was quite taken aback, but a second or two later the shock had turned to the expected. Just last month, my hairstylist had commented that I was losing my hair. Ouch. (She hadn't seen me for almost nine months) She correctly concluded that I was feeling stressed and worrying too much and that was making my hair fall out.

Not only that, all that worrying has made me look a few years older than I actually am. I know of cases whereby people have thought that I was around 6 years older than in reality. Sigh. I need to stop thinking too much, but questions and thoughts like 'Why?' 'If only...' 'What if?' 'Would it have better if?''How could it happen?' et cetera permeate through my mind all day. Its been like that for over a year and a half. And its making me lose plenty of sleep, making me lethargic throughout the day, and turns off the urge in me to want to socialize because I'd get a headache and am more likely to get annoyed and snap at people due to my tiredness.

I need to stop worrying too much. Its hurting and annoying those close to me. I'm feeling so insecure :S I know that God has planned wonderful things for me ahead, yet somehow I don't feel exactly convinced. *slaps self* I need to overhaul my life.

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